he referred to my room as the tit cave...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
