Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
