Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
