I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize