dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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