So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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