Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
