and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.