six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
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I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"