i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
