it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The air taste purple.
Randomize
