My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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