Kiss
Puke
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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