you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
