i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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