he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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