who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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