Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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