YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
