so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
