That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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