Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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