I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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