What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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