Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
honey bunches of taint.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
