...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
