oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
