you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
