I just saw a hot homeless man
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
