Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
