Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A+ Viking dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
