matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
