I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
