girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
