Swine flu. Run for my life!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
