I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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