I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
