Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
