I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
