I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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