dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
