I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
