I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
