My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
im six kinds of drunk right now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
