He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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