...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
