That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
