I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My Sexting was not on an AP level
how does that bad decision feel?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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