My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
