If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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