party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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