I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize