The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
