I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
