My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
