woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
