I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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