For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
