I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.