Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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