Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

Fav 21 1226 6958
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?

Fav 19 4802 1159
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.

Fav 23 1727 3826
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.

Fav 5 2565 1025
share tweet
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.

Fav 7 2506 891
share tweet
(240): View more from Maryland

This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.

Fav 4 1553 730
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

Fav 6 1389 765
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."

Fav 2 880 454
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.

Fav 0 165 93
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT