Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice