is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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