so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
