If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
